Curious, I got up--pants around my ankles
Okay, who replaced my copy of Deathbreed with Ron Dickie's teenage diary???
Or chasing the customer down the street with his N word beater.
Did I mention the main characters in this book are rascist scumbags?
I barely made it back to the bathroom in time before a hot fudge Hiroshima fell out of my ass.
Look, I love a good poop joke as much or maybe more than anyone, but that's just fucking uncalled for.
After a few more moments of cramping, cursing, and wishing I was dead, the attack seemed to be over.
That pretty much sums up how I feel during every Tomoview.
Now came the tricky part--wiping my crack clean.
Might I suggest using a shotgun. Wait, that would be better for brushing your teeth.
It was like cleaning peanut butter out of shag carpet.
I want you all to just take a moment and let that image sink in nice and deep, because you are never getting it out of your head. You're welcome!
I had more shit crumbs decorating my ass than trophies at a hunting lodge.
I do like the expression "SHIT CRUMBS!" I think it could catch on.
The toilet seat was covered with poop splatters and broken off dingleberries.
Really? No seriously, BROKEN OFF DINGLEBERRIES! That taint funny.
I grabbed another wad of tissue and swept it clean for the next guy.
Hmmmm, maybe this character isn't all bad. I mean a courtesy flush will cleanse a lot of sins.
Maybe I had shit out the best parts of myself years ago. Maybe I had shit out my soul...
Soul Shitter would be a fucking epic name for a metal band.