Chapter Two - Make Me Beg
Bella had a fantasy of herself as a kick-ass dominatrix trainer, humiliating her clients into the workout of their lives.
I wish that was the actual plot for the "book".
Bender didn't try anything when he tucked her in, which Bella found endearing and insulting.
I can understand why Bella would be insulted. I mean, being told you aren't good enough to be date-raped can be devastating.
Unlike Gia, who would fuck on a dare, Bella moved more slowly.
This Gia reminds me of someone...
that would have made Eli Manning sob.
I don't think it's really that hard to make Sheli Manning sob.
She'd be like a kid in a pickle store.
And by the way, selling fried clams for a horny sleazebag sounds kind of fun,
Well it definitely sounds more fun than reading this fucking drivel.
I don't need luck, I've got skills!
I'VE GOT THE VOCATIONAL SKILLS!!! Fuck! I already used that joke, didn't I?
Chapter Three - Hurricane Gia
"And great boobs!" she added.
If she weren't an optimist, she might feel a little discouraged.
There is a fine line between optimist and idiot. It's almost as fine as the line between whore and slut.
Go ahead, call me a fat whore, she though, but for God's sake don't litter!
You know that old commercial with the old Indian shedding a single tear? That's how I look right now.
At the sound of a flushing toilet, Gia called out, "Hello? I'm here!"
At The Sound Of A Flushing Toilet is a little long, but I still think it would be a great album title.
Tanning is my second-favorite thing to do with my clothes off.
If you're curious, frying bacon is my second-favorite thing to do with my clothes off.
Gia did a victory lap dance on the arm of the sofa.
That's sofa king hot! Repeat after me: Gia is sofa king we todd ed!
Gia stopped humping the sofa.
A single boy who she'd already seen naked wanted her at his party.
Honestly ladies, can you ask for anything more?