Friday, February 4, 2011

Tomo takes a trip to the shore. Part 2

Chapter Two - Make Me Beg

Bella had a fantasy of herself as a kick-ass dominatrix trainer, humiliating her clients into the workout of their lives.

I wish that was the actual plot for the "book". 

Bender didn't try anything when he tucked her in, which Bella found endearing and insulting.

I can understand why Bella would be insulted. I mean, being told you aren't good enough to be date-raped can be devastating.

Unlike Gia, who would fuck on a dare, Bella moved more slowly.

This Gia reminds me of someone...

that would have made Eli Manning sob.

I don't think it's really that hard to make Sheli Manning sob.

She'd be like a kid in a pickle store.


And by the way, selling fried clams for a horny sleazebag sounds kind of fun,

Well it definitely sounds more fun than reading this fucking drivel.

I don't need luck, I've got skills!

I'VE GOT THE VOCATIONAL SKILLS!!! Fuck! I already used that joke, didn't I?

Chapter Three - Hurricane Gia

"And great boobs!" she added.

If she weren't an optimist, she might feel a little discouraged.

There is a fine line between optimist and idiot. It's almost as fine as the line between whore and slut.

Go ahead, call me a fat whore, she though, but for God's sake don't litter!

You know that old commercial with the old Indian shedding a single tear? That's how I look right now.

At the sound of a flushing toilet, Gia called out, "Hello? I'm here!"

At The Sound Of A Flushing Toilet is a little long, but I still think it would be a great album title.

Tanning is my second-favorite thing to do with my clothes off.

If you're curious, frying bacon is my second-favorite thing to do with my clothes off.

Gia did a victory lap dance on the arm of the sofa.

That's sofa king hot! Repeat after me: Gia is sofa king we todd ed!

Gia stopped humping the sofa.

A single boy who she'd already seen naked wanted her at his party.

Honestly ladies, can you ask for anything more?

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